So, Valentine's Day is Thursday, but you haven't planned, bought, or made anything special for the one you love?
I'm single, so I call this day -- Too-Many-Chocolate-Hearts-in-the-Candy-Shop Day. Or, some other name that means anti-Valentine's Day.
What really gets me is that stores have programed so many of us to rush out and buy something, beginning right after the New Year. STOP, just stop right there. Most of these things are cheesy.
Even when I had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day, I didn't want those things. So, here's my own personal, don't-shoot-the-messenger advice of things not to do.
Do NOT buy a teddy bear from the grocery store, the gas station, or dare I say, from some guy selling stuff in a parking lot out of his van. Not cute. It's lazy. It's going to end up in the back of the closet, or as a new friend for Fido.
Do NOT buy a greeting card, last minute, from any of the aforementioned places. When you do this at the last minute the cards are the worst. Nothing good is left, and you end up purchasing just what's left, instead of what's right.
Do NOT buy her chocolate. This is one I hate the most. All it does is add calories to her waist line. We've only got two months -- maybe three -- to get our bodies right for spring and summer time. Chocolate, especially the kind with coconut in them, does not help. (I don't like coconut in my chocolate candy.)
Do NOT get candy of any kind. The reason is the same as above. But, I'm also adding that it most likely will be gobbled up by your children if you have any. So, save those heart-shaped candies for exactly what they're made for -- kids, who take them to school to give to classmates.
Please, please do NOT buy her lingerie if you do not know what she likes, and will ACTUALLY wear. This always happens. Men rush into Victoria's Secret, LiviRae Lingerie, or some place like that. (I mention LiviRae Lingerie because it's a Kennesaw store with its own new show "Double Divas" on Lifetime. They're funny.) And, usually, men do not have a clue what they are doing. They get the wrong size, the wrong color, or something no one wants to wear.
Do NOT, under any circumstances, grab A rose from anyone selling one on your way home. We will know you did not think about what to do. A single rose doesn't cost a lot, and you can get them from some guy outside your office, but it's also lazy. If you want to get roses, spend a little money and get at least six or 12, or yikes, 24! One rose doesn't cut it.
Do NOT buy "the bubbly" if she is not a drinker. Me, I do not drink alcohol. Getting a bottle of champagne does nothing for me. So, if you're going to do this, know ahead of time that she will actually like what you bought.
Do NOT take her out on a group date. We are not in high school. We're adults now, which means we do not need all our friends around for every single thing. And, if you take her out to dinner -- with just the two of you, of course -- do not finish her plate off. Someone did that to me on prom night, and I have never forgotten how horrible I thought that was. He just reached over and said, "You're not gonna eat that, right?" Um, yeah. I would have if you had not been so greedy.
Do NOT use this single, one day to try to get back with someone from forever ago, or call them and see how they're doing. They are doing fine, and the ONLY reason your calling is because all the sappy things in the store suggested this might be OK. It's not. It's convenient. What if you two get into an argument? Then you would have ruined Valentine's Day. If you call now, it means less. So, you're just going to have to wait until your good deed has more punch -- and is not tied to a made-up day on the calendar.
Do NOT do nothing. I know that's a double negative, but this is the number one thing that you should not do. It's poor taste, especially because everything in the world is making everyone think about love. If you love her, or even like her a little bit, you have to do something. If you don't, you'll likely be pegged as a loser. Sad, and true.
So, what can you do?
This is what you can do that will actually mean something, even if you do it at the last minute. Be thoughtful. That's my whole point with the list above. Write her a letter, take her to her favorite restaurant or even a cute spot she may have mentioned, or give her a handmade gift (like a photo book of all your favorite moments, or a coupon booklet with IOUs).
Clean up around the house, take the kids to grandma's, and run a bubble bath (and decorate with candles) so she can relax. Buy tickets to a cool show or take her dancing. Go to the movies and sit through something you never would have done normally.
Or, shocker, talk to her. I swear women love hearing how you feel about them. Top that off with something thoughtful or serene, like watching the sunset together, and you will have made her day. Promise.