Teacher/Student Miscommunication

I teach an elective Bible class which is held off campus that students at Parkview High School can take. Recently in class I explained, very thoroughly, an assignment that was due soon. About an hour after class I received a text from one of my students that said: “What are we supposed to do for that assignment?” I simply responded: “Please withdraw from my class.” (In my head I did, anyway.)

It got me thinking about how a simple statement spoken by the teacher can be taken in many ways. Here are a few that I thought of.

Actual Statement

What Teacher Means

What Student Hears

Alright guys, you ready to get started?

I have an amazing lesson for today that will impact your lives forever. Let’s get going!

Let’s talk about some more useless facts today.

Please put your cell phones away before I take them up.

You and your stupid little phone are the reason that you are so incompetent.

Please lower your phones under your desk so that I can’t directly see them. I will never figure out why you are constantly looking down at your lap.

I have an assignment for you to complete tonight.

I am giving you a great opportunity to take what I have been teaching you and learn even more about it! It’ll be wonderful!

Please spend 5 minutes of your class time in another class before mine to complete this busy work.

Do you understand what I’m saying?

I don’t expect anyone to not understand because I have done a masterful job of explaining this to you, but in the off chance you were zoned out for a couple of seconds, let me know if I could help you better understand.

Let’s move on to the next thing.

Understanding this concept is the basis for everything else we do in class.

What I am telling your right this moment is the most important thing you will ever need to know for the rest of your lives. Without it you will literally stop breathing and die.

Blah, blah, blah concept, blah, blah, class.

Someone needs to create some sort of technology that deciphers the teacher’s statements, balances it with realism and communicates it effectively to the students. You could also market this technology to husbands.